It seems like only a few months ago, I was sitting around the parsonage back in Wilcox, pregnant with our first bundle of joy, busy as ever getting everything perfect. The nursery had to be perfect. Clean and ready for the baby, with the rocking chair placed just exactly so next to the crib. The colors were neutral, in case we were wrong in our expectations. All the ceilings in the house were washed with a dye free cleaner, all the baseboards wiped down with Murphy's Oil Soap, and every cupboard and closet in the place organized to within an inch of it's existence. I was the queen of nesting while my husband tried to ignore the commotion from his office in the house.
I didn't wonder how I'd handle Motherhood, I knew I'd be awesome. I couldn't wait to be reading Berenstain Bear & Dr. Seuss books, doing puzzles on the floor, listening to fun kid music, baking cookies with a cute little helper, and sitting together on the couch doing family devotions at night before bedtime.
Bedtime? What's that? Devotions? Huh?
Now, 5 and a half years later, I wonder when I'll get a shower again. I ponder whether or not I'll ever read the newspaper quietly with a cup of hot chocolate, or finish a novel. I dream about clipping my toenails and shaving my legs on a regular basis. Forget about organizing anything, let alone cleaning. I don't even know where the Murphy's Oil Soap IS anymore, or if it even came in the move more than 3 years ago! I have unpacked boxes stuck in the closet of no return, and I have no intention of even caring to find out what's in it. If' I've lived without them this long, I probably don't need it.
(Though, now that I say that, it might explain why I can't find my lucky notebook, which is full of my life's adventure, up until I got married, and the not yet completed parts. But I digress... )
Suffice it to say, Life has changed. I used to get birthday and anniversary cards out to everybody in a timely manner. I haven't even bought a card in at least a year! And, (nobody tell her) but Mom was right. About everything! And, OH, how I had it easy!
As I sit here at my desk tonight, all the children miraculously asleep at the same time, surrounded by unopened mail, bills that need to be organized, the new computer, the old computer, a calendar with everybody's schedule listed out in a different color, and a desk with 15 cubbyholes that are STUFFED fill and need to be gone through, I picture the laundry on the floor in the other room, the grimy toilet, the fingerprints on the mirrors, the carpet that needs the cheerios vacuumed up, the bath towels that need folded and the dishes that needs washed, and I wonder, "Am I chasing my tail while my kids grow up all around me?" "Am I forgetting that I'm a wife to a really great man?"
What else am I missing while I fret about the unimportant stuff?
Much to my dismay, I'm not getting the award for Mother of the Year, or the prize for Perfect Wife or a BFF label from anybody. I'll be lucky to come out with "Mediocre in Some Areas".
But, by golly, I have an awful lot to be thankful for, and I am. I just need a reminder every now and again.
Fortunately for me, the baby doesn't sleep through the night, the children don't always get along, and I get lots of reminders, as the time ticks by, that everything around me is another blessing from God. Sometimes, it comes in a noisy form, but the reminder is there, none-the-less.
To Him be the Glory Forever and Ever, A-men.
No comments:
Post a Comment